I am on the TV too!

I am incensed! Muddle was on TV. Sometimes TaTa can't sleep and she watches GermsTV because the drone of the presenter's voice makes her fall asleep. Well the presenter asked for a Christmas photo of one of their pets and TaTa sent one in of MUDDLE not ME but MUDDLE. He is not even on the A List and the presenter said 'he is such a handsome black cat'.
Well what a disgrace and just to make up for it I am doing my special walking backwards trick to get on the TV. This trick makes TaTa very nervous because I can't see where I am going so things could get knocked over. So here I go.
Now I am on the TV and at least it is a
BBC programme with a well-known presenter on a gardening programme and not some Essex girl presenter on Freepoo.
Just you wait Muddle

No place like home

This is Albert. He is married to Maureen. Maureen is a little sad lately as her daughter has moved to South America. Albert loves to travel and drives a camper van and goes to France, Romania and Bulgaria. He comes from the East End of London but he doesn't know Dot Cotton or Phil Mitchell. I heard that Boris Johnson is going to build an Olympic Stadium in the East End - if he starts now he may have it ready by 2012.
Anyway much better than the East End is being at home with TaTa - she had her fur dyed to match mine.

Pong

Better get by these tootsies pretty quick. I must admit KeKe's feet smell of Edam - not surprising considering he is from Dutchland. Did you know that Dutch footballers used a whole Edam cheese as a football - that's why they have the problem of spotting an official football.
Anyway I am counting the days until February when my Walesland family will be coming.

Damage...what damage?

If I pose here nicely then TaTa won't see what I have done to her computer chair and as soon as she has gone I will really attack it. I'm really fed up because Muddle is getting special food because he has dire rear and I have to eat salmon or chicken - so the chair's gonna get it.

Mmmmm cosy toesies

This is the best place to be in the morning. On top of a feather bed under a down duvet and next to Ta-Ta's feet. In Dutchland they call feet metres. I don't know why but they do.

Waiting for Santa Claws

If I sit here long enough I may catch Santa Claws before Chrismess. I have looked in my catalogue and have a nice list for him: some catnip and a catapult so I can wake KeKe up in the morning and I absolutely deserve a stroll down a catwalk wearing my new outfit from Verscratchy.

Hah Bumhug

As you can see we are all exhausted by this Christmess thing - except for Muddle. I never want to see another decoration again and Treacle has started to eat the presents.
I have heard that some humans give animals as presents for Christmess. We require love and proper care to flourish. Although humans who give animals as gifts invariably have good intentions, it is unfair to give an animal to anyone unless you are absolutely certain that the person wants that particular animal as a companion and is willing and able to give a lifetime of proper care.
Instead why don't you help an animal charity by adopting an animal on
paper. There are all sorts of animals you can adopt from big cats to little cats, dogs, horses. Just think of your favourite animal and type in 'adopt a ....' and there will be a special charity waiting for you. Here are a couple of suggestions: www.org.uk, www.bornfree.org.uk, www.farmanimalrescue.org.uk. Just to make you understand how terrible it can be for us animals at Christmess here is a little reminder from the RSPCA:

On the first day of Christmas the RSPCA found…

One dead dog – we come across many dead pets at this time of the year.

Two superfluous snakes – exotic animals may seem attractive pets but can be hard to look after.

Three jettisoned Jack Russells - two female dogs and a male were dumped from a truck.

Four small furries – a guinea pig and a rabbit were found in rubbish. Two gerbils were found in a cage behind a disused house with no food or water.

Five injured innocents – many abandoned animals are suffering from injury or illness when they are found, for instance four husky puppies and a white albino lop-eared rabbit left in a cardboard box. One dog had a broken leg and the rabbit was infested.

Six dumped dogs – an elderly cross-breed dog was found in a quarry, a one-year-old Jack Russell found tied to railings, an elderly Yorkshire terrier was thrown into rubbish outside Gt Ormond Street Hospital.

Seven cruelty case survivors – seven Jack Russell puppies neglected and covered with sores.

Eight cute kittens – eight kittens were found outside a block of flats in a box.

Nine gorgeous guinea pigs – including six babies and three sore-ridden adults.

Ten redundant rabbits – what can we say?

Eleven cats in cardboard – amongst the hundreds of unwanted cats were 11 cold and frightened moggies found in cardboard boxes, including one pregnant tortoiseshell.

Twelve roaming rodents – a dozen unwanted rats - the owner started with two and of course the inevitable happens.

Muddle it's cold outside

By the way to all you lovely readers I don't publish comments from humans who send in anonymous comments or withhold their identity in someway.

I really can't play
(but Muddle it's cold outside)
I've got to go away
(but Muddle it's cold outside)
This morning's not very nice
(I'll hold paws yours are like ice. TaTa will start to worry and the garden is full of slurry. She will be pacing the floor. Just listen to the fireplace roar)
I just want to scurry!
(Muddle do not hurry)
Well maybe just a half a saucer more.
I really can't stay
(Muddle don't go that way. I'ts cold outside!)
I simply must go
(but Muddle it's cold outside)
My answer is NO
(but MUDDLE it's cold outside. This house is so nice and warm. Look out the window at that STORM! The sleet will be there at the door! Not sun on a tropical shore!)
Well maybe just a saucer more
(NEVER seen such a blizzard before)
I've got to get out!
(but Muddle you'll FREEZE out there!
Okay then I'll stay!
(At last I get my way.....Muddle it's warm inside!)

Christmess

I am extremely confused about Christmess ... you humans cannot decide when it is or what to call it. For instance you call it: Christ's Mass, Nativity, Incarnation, Yule Tide, Noel, Xmas and Pascha. Then there are all the different dates: December 25,
January 6, March 28 and then all the different names for Father Christmess: Santa Claws, Saint Nicholas, St Nikolaus, Sinterklaas, Kris Kringle, Père Noël, Joulupukki, Babbo Natale, Weihnachtsmann, Saint Basil and Father Frost.
This, of course, doesn't surprise me as you humans have such difficulty making up your minds: 'what shall I wear, what shall I eat, where shall I go, who shall I see today'. You are all so stressed. Me I just watched KeKe put up the Christmess Tree (purple) and then very carefully I removed each decoration and put them in the rightful place - my basket. No stress, no mess - just bliss.

Itsa kinda magic

What is duck doing? Those glittery balls look intriguing but the Dastardly Duck is guarding them. I will walk casually by as if not interested and especially carefully by the giant spider. I shall use my magic tail and my assistant Marvellous Mouse to move them to the other side of the room. If you don't believe in magic then don't look at the last photo.

Christine and David

In the photo is Christine and the one after is David. They have three cats: Billy, Simon and Mog. Christine does lots of things - she has written a book about a worm (www.wallytheworm.co.uk) (personally the idea makes my fur stand on end because worms are almost as bad as frogs), painted scenery, is an artist, likes dressing up in 1930's clothes (hence the ear-screeching music I had to tolerate yesterday), and sometimes she gets exhausted. She also paints her fur bright red. David is also an artist and paints trains and keeps Christine amused. He also dresses up - the other day he dressed up as a vicar and lots of old ladies gave him cups of tea and cake.
They both come from Essex - say no more. Chav and Dave!

Seventy eights

Oh Great Cat in the Sky please make this noise stop. I have never heard anything like it. Gracie Cotton, Billy Fields - it is terrible. TaTa's friend Christine said they used to play music like this in the 1930's - well I am glad I didn't live then. Give me Catatonia and Cat Stevens anytime.

Woolworth

What's all this hulabaloo about Woolworth? I don't even know who they are but their plastic bags smell interesting. TaTa said she'd rather have an Em & Es. I am more concerned about the fur growing back on my tummy ... gets a bit cold sometimes. Muddle is in a bad mood and is now on herbs for his enormous pancake poo. He is driving me around the bend because he always wants to go outside and I tell him 'there are frogs out there'. TaTa says he visits all the old ladies in the area and gets spoiled and that's why he has a bad stomach. I am not talking to Treacle the dog at the moment because I saw him eat one of Muddle's poops and I almost fainted. Us Siamese would never even consider the thought but dogs are a lowly breed so I am not so surprised. I cannot wait until February to get someone of my breeding into the household so I can have a decent conversation.

Peace on earth, goodwill to all beings

Tabby Cat War Baby

If you lie upside-down and look at it,

The sky is a lake where someone has thrown oil barrels.

Smoke leaks upwards in black trails.

Somewhere distant and comic, machine guns are nails dragged down washboards.

Next to an abandoned washing machine

And riddled signpost, a cat cries for food.

No-one knows if the cat is Serb or Croat. Maybe he’s Muslim.

He rubs his head in each soldier’s hand equally,

Military or paramilitary.

He is a Jazz musician in a wrecked café.

He is the old Yugoslavia, hanging on

With his one eye and his handful of tunes:

I love you and I’m hungry

Playing in an empty town to passing audiences.

Michael Brett

Michael Brett lives in London and is a past winner of the Iolaire Poetry
Prize. During the Civil War in the former Yugloslavia, he worked in the
press section of the Bosnian Information Centre, London.

A bath ... I think not!

I am so excited! This is my birth mum Poppy and she has given birth to five kittens and one of them is going to be my new sister in February. You may think - they look nothing like Siamese and here is the reason why they are white: The pointed pattern is a form of partial albinism, resulting from a mutation in tyrosinase an enzyme involved in melanin production. The mutated enzyme is heat-sensitive; it fails to work at normal body temperature but becomes active in cooler areas of the skin. This results in dark colouration in the coolest parts of the cat's body, including the extremities and the face, which is cooled by the passage of air through the sinuses. All Siamese kittens although pure cream or white at birth, develop visible points in the first few months of life in colder parts of their body. By the time a kitten is four weeks old the points should be clearly distinguishable enough to recognise which colour they are. Siamese cats tend to darken with age, and generally adult Siamese living in warm climates have lighter coats than those in cool climates. So because we were nice and warm in our mother's
womb we stay white and then start to have this wonderful reaction to temperature.

In the next photo I am standing on the bath ... I fell in once and didn't like the experience. Playing with bubbles is good but don't eat them they taste horrible. Also humans have to put all kinds of smells on themselves so every day I have to remember what TaTa and KeKe smell like. One day it is Shalimar, then it is Angel, then it is Boss, then it is Chanel. Max Factor made a perfume called Sophisti-Cat. It is no longer available... and is considered a vintage collectible. It was produced in the 1950s - whenever that was.

Sleep

After all that rushing around and exercising I am exhausted. Did you know us Siamese sleep around 12 hours a day but do you know which animal sleeps the most ... well I do ... it is a Brown Bat which sleeps around 19 hours a day - how wonderful is that - almost as much as TaTa sleeps.
Welcome to William Laurent - William means Helmet (Teutonic) and Laurent means From the Place of Laurel Trees (French). TaTa used to live on St Laurent Boulevard in Ottawa.
TaTa says my birth mum has just given birth to five kittens - marvellous!

Pilcates

Ten days after my operation I decided I needed to exercise rather than sitting around waiting for something to happen. So it's Pilcates time! I have heard a rumour that my birthmum Poppy is expecting another nest. Also Fiona has just gone into labour. You humans make such a fuss - we just pop them out - you have got to have hospitals, midwives, gas and air, birthing pools, birthing stools, lots of shouting and all kinds of things. We Siamese just give a gentle little push and voila! You humans have a lot to learn. To err is human, to feline divine.

Thijs is t'huis!

to Cam
Surprise! Thijs has had a nice trip around England from Hemel Hempstead to Cambridge, from Cambridge to Harwich, from Harwich to Boston and then Boston to here and then here to Stansted, from Stansted to Amsterdam then home! Here he is eating a Jammy Dodger. I don't like them because the jam sticks to my whiskers. KeKe and Thijs have gone to get fish and chips - Thijs thinks I am a sweet cat but just wait!!!

Just the two of us

Douis has departed and don't want to meow about it. There is just Muddle and I and we both feel a bit lonely. However Thijs (son of Wim is in the photo with his granddaughter Sophie) is coming tomorrow from Boston so I will have someone to purr with.

I am having a rest

o
At last I come to the end of the Dutchland family. This is Adrianna, her daughter Monia and her granddaughter Haraden. I am having a rest because I discovered a new game today called 'pushing things off the highest place possible just to see if they a) bounce b) make a sound c) break d) make TaTa rush into the room. I have also discovered that I have very strong jaws and can carry things around the house and drive KeKe to distraction when he cannot find his keys. On Saturday I have my stitches out and I do feel much much better. Muddle had to go to the vet and he did an enormous stinky poo in the waiting room and they had to evacuate it because everyone felt sick. Rock on Muddle!

Where is that biscuit?

I am sure I left a secret pile of my favourite treats under the carpet. I am so angry I will eat this stick instead.
Here's a photo of KeKe on the ferry - he is not being seasick for once.

Halloween

This is my scary Halloween face.

A little bit of catstory: Pope Gregory IV standardized the date of All Saints Day, or All Hallows Day on November 1 in the name of the entire Western Church in 837. As the Church day began at sunset the holiday coincided exactly with Samhain. It was common practice to leave Pagan festivals and buildings intact (e.g. the Pantheon) while overlaying a Christian meaning. Hmmmm.

Carpets and Wim

This is Wim at his 60th birthday party. The woman next to the baby is Marlies his daughter. Wim (short for Wilhelmus Cornelis) is an architect and travels all over the places looking for buildings to design - he went to Valencia (boo to Ryan Airways for not flying their anymore) and to Norway. He is the oldest brother in the family and you can tell this for two reasons: 1. he has grey hair and 2. he has grown ears out of his head something which humans do when they get old.

Wim still has very good teeth as you can see from the next photo but I do not know who the baby is.
In the next photo Margo is explaining something to Wim and Marlies - probably telling him he has to eat all his dinner before he gets a pudding.

In the last photo I have taken a new job as carpet inspector. I am given a carpet and I have to chew and scratch it for one hour and if nothing breaks it goes to Carpet Wrong for sale. Carpet Wrong is opposite M15 in Cromer and is going to be taken over by Home Bash which has just opened. Too many things are happening for a Siamese to understand. We involve ourselves with more interesting things than takeovers and administration.