August is a difficult month for me. So many memories packed into one month. The birthday of my hubbie's mama (now RiP), my first marriage, my first divorce, my half-brother's birthday, my second marriage, the death of my hubbie's father and then my birthday.
So a bit up and down.
I have been thinking a lot about my hubbie's mama and I can only really remember a few occasions when I met her.
The first memory is in 1980 and the first time I had set foot into a Dutch household.
Because of my work we were encouraged not to mix with the 'locals' and, even though they didn't know it then, but they will now - each member of my hubbie's family over the age of 21 was security checked. Neither of my hubbie's parents spoke English and I had just started to learn Dutch.
Hubbie's mama was very quiet, she was wearing a blue dress with little flowers on and her hair was short and wavy. She had prepared a supper of endive, potatoes and balletje gehaakt - she wasn't the best of cooks but it was good homely food. After supper she made tea in a teapot and forgot to put the tea in.
The second memory is probably a lot of New Year's celebration rolled into one. I used to go to Okkernootstraat. They lived in a maisonette with two balconies and I remember thinking how small it was and couldn't believe that six children had been made and brought up there. New Year's Eve is fantastic in The Hague.
People drag their Christmas trees to crossroads and make huge bonfires - sometimes even bicycles, car tyres and furniture get chucked on. I used to stand at the window and feel the glass - it was red hot - and watch the flames rise higher and higher. Sometimes Papa van der Does would play the organ and sing. He had a lovely voice and had travelled widely with a Dutch choir.
The third memory is when hubbie's parents came to supper with me. One of the vegetables I made was corn on the cob - not good when both parents had false teeth and that corn on the cob in The Netherlands is considered to be pig food! but they survived!
I think I noticed before anyone else that something was fading from hubbie's mum - being an outsider it is easier to see. She was withdrawn, forgetful and always kind but there was a vagueness about her that was so apparent to me. Sadly I was right and she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
I can't remember the year or date she died but I always remember her birthday on 5 August. I have visited her grave three times where she is buried with Papa van der Does and love to listen to hubbie's stories about Mama van der Does.
