Wrestling

1. First I picked my favorite WWE superstar to impersonate (mine is Cat the Catastrophic)
   
2. Then I played my supercat's music (I played 'We are Siamese' just to give Douis the Dominator the tremors)
   
3. At the beginning of the match, I ignored my opponent rolling about and looking silly
   
4. Then I went for the crossbody
   
5. Douis the D countered with an attempted flip
   
6. Then we heard the plates in kitchen ....food always wins over wrestling.
   

Catiquette

As you know us Siamese come from a long and distinguished line of well-bred cats. So today I am giving you catiquette lessons on how to eat with a knife and fork.

Siamese cats pay a lot of attention to good table manners.

Never lick or put your knife in your mouth (not because it is rude but because it is dangerous). Never chew with your mouth open. It is impolite to have your paws on the table whilst eating. Never meow with food in your mouth. It is impolite to put too much food in your mouth. Never use your paws to push food into your mouth. It is impolite to slurp your food or eat noisily. Never sneeze over your food (sneeze over your neighbour's, look embarrassed, and then offer to eat it). Always take food from your neighbour's plate. Never pick food out of your teeth with your claws. When you have finished eating, and to let others know that you have, start to eat their food. Always always always lick your plate clean (but not your knife). Knives are dangerous.

I'm sooooooooo bored

No, I don't want to play, I don't want to cuddle, I don't want to eat, I don't want to sleep, I don't want to be brushed, toys bore me, even you bore me Douis, Ta-Ta bores me, Co-Co bores me, everything is so boring.
I am sooooooo bored. Ta-Ta says I am like Kevin on the tellybox.
I feel a bit funny and I think I am pre-catstrual.
Douis - eat my shorts.

Just file me under S for Sunshine

Oh the blisssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Guinness Pigs

These are called Guinness Pigs. They come from Ireland. What? Oh Guinea Pigs. They come from Papua New Guinea? What - they don't come from Papua New Guinea? Where do they come from then smart human? Well it seems that despite their common name, these animals are not pigs nor do they come from Papau New Guinea. They come from the Andes. So why aren't they called Andes Pigs. You humans do have a funny way of thinking about things. After all Siamese cats are from Siam, Persian cats from Persia, Abysinian cats from Abysinia and so on. Why can't humans keep things simple - they would be much less stressed. Anyway these Guinea Pigs are enjoying some carrots, grapes, pears and plums. They do all the gardening except for eating thistles and stinging nettles. I have heard they taste quite nice and they do eat them in South America. I'd sooner have some caviar than a cavia - hahahahaha - oh I amuse myself.

The outside

Ta-Ta took me into the garden yesterday. To be honest I didn't like it. The wind blew into my ears and I kept thinking about the slimy frogs in the pond. Ta-Ta said she would not take me outside again unless I asked at the door. I like being inside where it is comfortable, warm and lots of things to do. Us Siamese are very particular about our surroundings and I have watched Ray Mears on tellybox but I do not want to live in a tent made of palm leaves, light a fire with sticks or build a canoe. Ta-Ta says she would like to meet Ray Mears but would prefer to stay in a 5-star hotel whilst he was out doing his survival things.

Crazy little thing called Love

This thing called love, I can handle it
This thing called love, I've come round to it
I am ready
For this crazy little thing called love

Rock in Peace
Freddie Mercury: He had many cats, but Delilah was unquestionably his favourite. He wrote a song about her which appears on the Innuendo album - complete with her meows.
Elvis Presley: Elvis burst onto the national scene in 1956, though he had spent a year and a half performing on the country-western circuit as the The Hillbilly Cat.

Remember if you click on a photo it will become much bigger!

The Kitchen Inspectors

We are The Kitchen Inspectors. Stove: needs cleaning. Shelves: everything tidy. Dishwasher: needs emptying. Sink: washing up needs doing.
We will be back next week for a further inspection.

Kiss me Douis one more time!

This is my gorgeous friend Douis. She is only two years old and has had three homes already so she is a little shy of people. I love her and give her lots of kisses and cuddles to make her feel more secure.

Harness

Well I must admit I quite like this harness ... after all it is pink and it means when Ta-Ta goes into the garden to sit in the sunshine I can go with her. I sit in the shade because I am light-coloured and light-coloured cats can get cancer from the sun - you can buy special cream from the vet - do not use human sunscreen because it is not good for cats at all. I can sit and watch the bees, hoverflies, butterflies, birds and keep a careful eye out for frogs.
Treacle the dog thinks the harness is great - I think if he was a Siamese he would want to marry me.

How did I get up here?

I was bouncing around the sitting room and all of a sudden my magic eyes started to glow and I could fly!

My birth mother

This is my beautiful birth mother. Her name is Poppy. Na-Na from Wales (I was told the proper spelling - English is very confusing for us Siamese - you have whales, Wales, wails - why can't you make up your minds!). Anyway Na-Na from Wales said I am going to look just like my birth mum.

My brother and sister

This is my brother Harry and my sister Blossom. They live in Whales with Na-Na. They look exactly like me. I hope Na-Na comes and visits one day. Ta-Ta bought me a kitten halter so I can go outside in the garden with her .... but it is too small!!! Hahahahaha!

An alien has landed!

First I shall ignore it. Then I shall stun it with my super-cat gaze. Then attack...oh for the love of The Great Cat in the Sky it is a toy on a stick. I shall walk away as though I knew that all the time. Dignity intact .
PS Do you like my fabulous new collar and Ta-Ta gives me a good comb and brush everyday and has found only two dead fleas. The magic collar works.

I know there is some chicken in here somewhere

This is very frustrating. I can smell chicken but I can't find it. When I have finished shredding this I will go and shred some interesting looking documents. Grrrrrr!

Ahhh this is better than a basket

I've decided that this is a much better place to sleep than some silly old cat bed - so Douis can have it. My Frontline ran out and I have no spots on my ears - but I have a flea so the gorgeous vet is going to find me something else. Meanwhile Ta-Ta is combing me which I really really like. Co-co has just come home from doing the Bowen Technique. If you want to find out what that is then you can email him on bowentechnique@aol.com. He is going to a webbed site soon so I will put that on as soon as Ta-Ta has built it. Had a lovely e-mail from our friend Ka-Ka who lives in Limoges - she works at the hospital there and works very very hard. Ka-Ka is very beautiful and tall and has long fur and does a thing called yoga. I am waiting for a photograph of her so I can put it on the blog. Ta-Ta misses her very much - she says about Ka-Ka 'she is like a vivid rainbow of colours and shines light wherever she goes. She has a fine independent spirit and works so hard it put the rest of us in shadows'. I met Ka-Ka when she came for a visit (she is English sort of but born in India and brought up in Africa) and she called me Stick Number Two. I didn't know why until Ta-Ta told me she had another Siamese called Kissy Wah who lived in the house. Kissy Wah had a brain tumour and the gorgeous vet had to send her to The Great Cat in the Sky. Ka-Ka thought Kissy was lovely and I am honoured to be Stick Number Two. Ta-Ta brought home a chicken yesterday and I think I ate most of it. Douis brought me a mouse - but Ta-Ta took it away and put it outside - this is the tenth time we have caught that mouse - I thought it was only cats who had nine lives. Ta-Ta is going to the doctor now so I have to go and say ta-ta to her for now.

Evicted!

I just turned around for one second and Douis took up squatter's rights in my basket! However I have a cunning plan...all will be revealed in my next blog.

The cat who got the cream

Cream....cream....cream....cream.....I want so much of it in my tum....I want cream so much and to have some fun...All I ever want is cream....scream for cream....cream...dream of cream....bream with cream.... (with apologies to the Everley Brothers).
Before all you readers start shouting I am only allowed 3 licks of cream...cream is not good for me...it gives me funny tummy and runny poops.

My new shop!

I am too tired to think. Douis did nothing all day except sleep under the chair ....so the shop is mine ... all mine!!!! http://stores.ebay.co.uk/thebizzytizzyshop

all mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and when you buy something it will be all yours....all yours!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh no another 5p listing day on mew-bay!

At least I have my friend Douis to help me this time. Secretly I am jealous of her collar but she is a bit of an Essex-puss. Ta says I can't have a collar because I am too young. I am now six months old and had a weigh-in today and I weigh 2.5 kilos! My colours are much darker now and even my body fur is changing from bright white to an ivory colour. Ta says I may feel a little amorous soon - but I don't know what that means - but I have heard it means a visit to the gorgeous vet. I am waiting for a photo from my beautiful human friend Ka-Ka who lives in France - when I get my passport we are going to live there for a month. I shall be the only Siamese in the village! So lots of foie gras and canard treats for me. I ate a spider yesterday - why do these things look so delicious and taste so terrible - just like frogs. Ta has told me not to eat bees because I could blow up. Ta says I can sit in the guinea pig compound tomorrow and I am not to eat them even though I know humans eat them in South America. Some humans are not very nice to us animals - and I think if they learned to be nice to us, then they could be a lot nicer to each other.
This is my friend Ka-Ka's favourite poem. I am going to call everyone with two words now because I am older and it is easier for me to say. So Ta is becoming Ta-Ta and Co is becoming Co-Co. Also I like to confuse the humans - it is very easy to do.

Who me again?

Why is it that whenever something happens in this household I am in the middle of it. Time to take action.
Take this down occifer: "I was proceeding in a kitchenly direction when I heard a suspicious noise. I entered to investigate and found two suspicious felines participating in an act of reckless bin scavenging. I took immediate action and collected evidence. The felines named Dubious Douis and Twizzle the Swizzler were both given a FASBO (Feline Anti-Social Behaviour Order) and Douis was given an extra caution for too much bottom sniffing".