Let me make it quite clear people who are bullied do not choose to be bullied. Once a bully feels they have a victim they will try by any of the means below to continue to bully the person involved. People who are being bullied often try to placate the bully or 'be nice' to them to try and turn the situation around. This gives the bully an even greater sense of power over the person they are bullying. Bullies sometimes falsely befriend those they are bullying to gain information and information means power.
To say that someone can choose not to be bullied is misguided, misinformed and insensitive. To tell someone who is being bullied 'they can choose' can lead to feelings of self-doubt, lower self-esteem and that their words are not being heard. From an adult perspective it is easy to say 'they can choose not to interact with a bully' but this is not the case at all. If someone states they are being bullied then this should be taken seriously and they should be listened to and action should be taken.
Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harrasment, physical assault or other more subtle means of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Bullying is also referred to as peer abuse.
Bullying is an act of repeated direct or indirect aggressive behaviours in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person. Behaviours may include name calling, verbal or written abuse, exclusion from activities, exclusion from social situations, physical abuse, or coercion. Bullies may behave this way to be perceived as popular or tough or to get attention. They may bully out of jealousy.
Indirect bullying is the most subtle of bullying techniques and is characterized by threatening the victim into social isolation. This isolation is achieved through a wide variety of techniques, including spreading gossip, refusing to socialize with the victim, bullying other people who wish to socialize with the victim, and criticizing the victim's manner of dress and other socially-significant markers (including the victim's race, religion, disability, etc), name calling, the silent treatment, arguing others into submission, manipulation, lies, rumours/false rumours, staring, giggling, laughing at the victim, saying certain words that trigger a reaction from a past event, and mocking.
Victims of bullying can suffer from long term emotional and behavioral problems. Bullying can cause lonliness, depression, anxiety and lead to low self-esteem.
