“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” (Buddha)
Self-esteem is a complex subject. Self-esteem is measured in different ways according to culture, gender, nationality etc and therefore what is considered to be a good measurement of self-esteem by one group may not be considered that important by another.
Self-esteem could be found by dividing your successes in areas of life of importance by the failures. Problems with this approach come from making self-esteem contingent upon success.
- Self-esteem could be found within a stable sense of personal worth or worthiness but who defines the boundaries and when does self-esttem become narcissim or boasting?
- Could self-esteem be the experience of being able to cope with the basic challenges of life and therefore worthy of happiness?
- How about: self-esteem as a basic human need, indispensable to normal and healthy self-development? Is it a concept of our personality - again, who defines this? How can we objectively define our personality without looking for outside influences?
Our own self-esteem has many implications on our lives. Childhood is the foundation for self-esteem and can affect our life choices, the way we perceive the world, ourselves and others. cushion for those times when life lets us down. Rejections, disappointments and failure are a part of daily life.
- The family is a strong force in the development of self-esteem. The early years are crucial in establishing self-esteem' in a person.
- High parental self-esteem is crucial to the ability to nurture high self-esteem and personal effectiveness in children.
- Though the definition of self-esteem varies, commonly used terms include: security, connectedness, uniqueness, assertiveness, competence and spirituality.
People with good levels of self-esteem are confident of their abilities, they problem-solve effectively, resolve conflicts, and clearly communicate their thoughts and desires.
Some effective ways of challenging our negative self-esteem and the negative self-esteem of others are: praise not criticism, dialogue not blame, keep a journal of your thoughts, put up a board in your home and pin on positive images, quotes etc to look at everyday, surround your mirror with beautiful things, use I instead of you when talking about yourself, value your talents, gifts, abilities (if you are unable to do something does it really matter?), be compassionate to yourself and to others, and most of all value yourself as a unique individual who, sometimes without knowing, continually contributes something positive to the world.
