Strangely enough I am more at peace now than I have been during the rest of my life - maybe it was because this disease made me stop in my tracks and take stock of my life and what was important. Work used to be the most important thing in my life - I would think nothing of working 100 hours a week.
Now I look at life with Lupus-tinted spectacles - I have slowed down, become less bothered by the mundane routines of life, no longer worry about the future and think very little about the past. What excites and invigorates me now is travel, nature and my friends. I do things that the consultants tell me I shouldn't do, don't do the things they tell me to do; I laugh, cry and occasionally retreat from everything when things get too much.
I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
I loafe and invite my soul,
I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.
(Walt Whitman)
