2 January 2010

Made it to 2 January. It's a strange time of year when I look back on the familiarity of 2009 and then face forward to the blank canvas of 2010. I feel like a writer staring at a blank page waiting for the first word to come, for some inspiration. Is 2010 going to be different. Or just the same as last year but one year on. I have so many options but I am also running out of options. What a paradox. All I know is I don't want another year of physical pain, medication trials and the back and forth boredom and futility of meeting with yet another consultant.
All I would like is to be living somewhere warm. I used to love the cold dry days of Canadian winters not these awful tedious days of English 'winters' - grey, damp, windy, chilling. That is my only wish for this year - warmth. Otherwise I feel I may die.